Taste the Difference Zombies

It has long been a criticism of the big supermarkets that they turn us into soulless creatures, manipulating our every purchase with cunningly placed veg at the entrance, booze as far away as possible and sweets by the counter.

Sainsbury's Balham has seen an extention of this. Unintentionally, though, no doubt.

No sooner had the customers got used to the layout - where to find hummus, beef, tonic water, etc - than they have expanded it to accommodate the hoardes moving to 'Nappy Valley'. Thus the building is in a state of rebuilding work. Utterly confused by the renovation customers moved uneasily along aisles as though they had never seen 'this thing called super market' before. Stunned like cows before slaughter we stumbled into one another, apologising and looking as lost as children on their first day at school.

We had become zombies. And all they need do was move some areas around a bit. Who'd have thought it: Al-Qiada needs neither bombs nor guns nor planes - a few changes to where things are placed in supermarkets around the UK, say switching fruit and veg with cleaning materials and we'd be rendered utterly helpless and ready for the taking.

MI5 had best watch out for unusual share action in the retail sector, then.